Now we already are in the middle of week 3. Everything is not that overwhelming as it was when we started, but I still have the feeling now and then, that I may have forgot something of all the things that are supposed to be part of my new habits. Sometimes it feels like the time runs away and in the weekends when everybody is at home, I find it difficult to remember to put the exercices in the first room. The feeling that I cannot get alone and do what I have to do is frustrating and can sometimes make me really angry. It is not because the family prevents me, but more that I have not found the routines to implement my new habits. The old bluerprint is fighting for its survival, I gues.
In my DMP I have ”Every week I schedule my time”, but to be honest that is still a lie. I really have to be better on that, and I will, because I always keep my promises.
A cople of nights ago I had a cool dream, that was unlike any dream I had before. I went in a car fast on a narrow road that went higher and higher. I was a passenger, so I had no control over the speed. On the way there appeared large castle-like buildings that we went straight through. Higher and higher and through new large castles. Alongside the road there was nothing – it was just empty space. The feeling was breathtaking. I think this dream is to say something about the change that has begun in me. It gives me a great feeling that makes me happy.
mariamasterkey 
October 18, 2014 at 2:25 am
Im not going on the family vacation for new years. Its going to be about 30 of us in one house… No way. Im giving it all ive got, so I need to make some sacrifices….. And who cares, theres always next year, but Im with myself every hour of every day. I identified with you on that part Maria. No need to get Angry. Remember, we have the power of changing how we feel in any situation. We got this!
LikeLike
October 22, 2014 at 6:37 pm
Maria, I’ll be taking care of my 2-year-old granddaughter next week and already I’m planning how I will continue my reading and meditation in an unfamiliar environment. I know I can do it! I’ve got this and so do you!
LikeLike
October 23, 2014 at 3:35 pm
Maria, thanks for sharing your dream, I am sure too that it is a positive message to your transformation “within”. You are right to say that your old blueprint is at work, actually it is doing its regular “job” by trying to keep you away from your exercises. You are doing well because you have observed what is happening and you keep focused on bringing your attention back to what you need to do; continue to do this earnestly and if you fail to do one exercise then eliminate any guilt or other negative feelings (because these come form the old blueprint!) and replace this with more determination to keep your promises. You are in the right fight and you are a Hero, always remember it! Congratulations also for behind honest with yourself and daring to share it, this is helping many of us.
LikeLike