Week 4 – fear and confidence

October 24, 2014 by mariamasterkey 2 Comments

“I can be what I will to be”. That feels awesome to say and I am filled with a sense of confidence and trust in my ability to create my future, when I pronounce those words.

In recent days, I have more and more frequently had a different feeling from time to time, namely feer. The feeling is familiar. This is not the first time I am trying to make changes in my life by doing different kinds of exercises, reading books, doing affirmations ….. I have even gone through The Master Key before. Every time I  have started, I have thought I’ll manage to achieve my goals. The feeling of self-confidence has been strong and I’ve really gone in to succeed. But after some time, so have fears come creeping and sat like a lump in the stomach. The words of the affirmations, and the lyrics has felt empty and meaningless and the failure has been a fact. I have tried to figure out what´s wrong with me who couldn´t make it, but previously, I could not put my finger on it.

It is different this time. I begin to imagine what was lacking before. I think that this week some how is a very critical time for me and that´s why I feel the feers come creeping again. It is a pattern I repeat, my old stinking blueprint. Now is the time to get rid of that thing!

When I started to write this text I didn´t know what to write about, and I really did not think that I had the time to sit down and do it today. I am greatful that I didn´t have any choise. I had to force myself to do it and that was good for me.

I need to have a claim on me to implement certain things and I’m so grateful that it is a part of MKMMA. I am also very greatful to my guid Luc, giving me valuable feedback and for all other members and staff answering questions and masterminding.

“I can be what I will to be”.

Love to all of you!